Do you need to feed a small herd of children after soccer practice? Does your spouse find your cake foraging skills lacking? Are you insulating your house with cake and frosting? Are you allergic to everything but cake? Do you pray to a deity that requires sacrifices of cake every Tuesday?

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This morning I awoke to find an email from Rebecca, which included the best cake description ever (she found it online). Jenn and I (Zoë) decided to do independent sketches of the description (to follow). If anyone wants to place an order for either finished design, please call the bakery to place your order by August 4, 2009. The cake is $17,000 and serves 294 people. Without further ado, here is the unedited, unadulterated description: Ok, try to follow this, k? I don't have a pic. The layers are square, but the corners are cut straight(so it's a square-ish octagon). These angled corners each have a lattice pattern made of itty bitty swiss dots. In each "diamond" this forms there is a flower. This is on every layer going up. It's 4 layers Layer 1 draping over the facing sides. Under this is quilting with a swiss dot in each 'corner' Layer 2 alternating vertical rows of fresh fruit and white chocolate curls. This has a monogrammed ribbon wrapped around it. in the middle is those pillars that bubble in the middle and a miniature functioning carousel on tier 2. Layer 3 Alternated peach or lime wedges on the top & facing sides(so it kind of looks like a 'squiggle') From between each facing wedge begins the top of a star made from mint leaves. Layer 4 "I Love You written in lots of languages. On the top top, instead of a statuette, is a tuft of white roses